Tired

Since I started keeping track, I've been out 21 out of the last 30 days. Which is basically 50% of weekdays and all the time on weekends.

It gets pretty exhausting and I am re-thinking whether I want to keep going out as much as possible. Right now I am really dragging because I went to an after-hours place and got only a little sleep last night.

Who knows, maybe after a good night's sleep my attitude will be different.

The Red Queen

I just finished reading The Red Queen, and I have to give it a thumbs up. I was pleasantly surprised.

The reason I was surprised is that I generally find very shallow reasoning on the part of evolutionary biologists. For example, I feel a lot of Mystery's "Survival Value" and "Replication Value" stuff is crap. For most evolutionary biology stuff I hear, I am turned off by what I see as general tendency to do backward science, starting with the conclusion (e.g. men are bigger than women on average) and making unprovable conjectures (it must be because they fight more) as to the cause. In logic this is the fallacy of affirming the consequent: B is true, and A implies B, therefore A.

For the most part, The Red Queen avoids these types of questionable explanations. Many examples are taken from the animal kingdom, where strong patterns are irrefutably at work. The connection from that to human behavior is still an area of speculation and conjecture, but the reasoning is well thought-out and holds together pretty well.

There are a couple areas where the reasoning is still rather thin, but in those areas the author describes multiple competing theories for what forces are at work.

Unfortunately, the book does not have very specific relevance to pickup. It is certainly interesting and I got value out of reading it, but its value is not because it is practical.

Been Out

I've gone out 13 of the last 17 nights. Not all of them were for the purpose of cold-approach pickup. But simply getting out of the house and being social counts.

Settling Down Eventually

This is a response to Finch's comment on an earlier post of mine.

First the short answer: as far as me personally, I fully believe I will settle down eventually, and be happy to do so. Gaming is not a permanent solution for me and I'll get to why in a bit. But first let me share a little background.

I was with my first girlfriend (the woman to whom I lost my virginity) for two years. She wanted to marry me. I was faced with a problem, which was that I didn't know what else was out there and knew I would always wonder. I could never know whether I had made the right choice, or if I had just gone with what was convenient. With a sample size of one, I didn't even know whether she was better than average. We were good together but not "perfect" and she kept telling me that being like that was "normal" and that any relationship would have that. She told me our relationship was really amazingly unusual and awesome. I couldn't take her word for it and I had to break up with her.

I see the game as helping me in two long-term ways. First, by building skill, it increases the options I have, and it increases the likelihood that when i find a super awesome woman, that I'll be able to attract her and at least have a fair chance of winning her. The other way the game helps me is that through the experience of being with different women, it helps clarify what it is I really want. I think I have a pretty good idea, but actually seeing it and feeling it makes me more sure. I will be in a better position to confidently make the leap when the time comes.

The game also has short-term positive aspects too. There is a certain "fun" aspect to having a lot of variety, and a bit of an ego boost as well. Perhaps for some it is addictive. In my case I am pretty sure I'm not addicted because I'm having to make a conscious effort to keep at it.

There are advantages to settling down and being serious and even married. These are things that perpetual gaming can never give me. I can get a much deeper understanding of the one I'm with. We can have kids. We can travel all over the world together. It's a lot easier to invest time and energy, knowing she will be around.

For the right woman I would happily give up the game for these things. But I won't be able to win the right woman without more game, and without knowing what's out there I won't be comfortable in the knowledge that I have the right woman.

My expectation is that I'll be at it for another year or perhaps two.

Mini-vacation

Tuesday went out.
Wednesday didn't go out.
Thursday (tonight) not going out.

So that makes 10 out of the last 14 days. I'll be hitting it this weekend for sure though.

Going Out Enough?

Today is Tuesday. Monday I didn't go out, but I went out Sunday, Saturday, Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, and Tuesday of last week.

Tuesday I met a girl with whom I tried to set something up Friday. I saw her but she was with friends and couldn't be extracted.

Wednesday I went out alone and ran into a couple other PUA acquaintances. Had some good rapport with one woman but it didn't get anywhere.

Thursday I didn't intend to sarge. I was just going to chill at a bar with one of my regular girls. She showed up late though, and in the mean time I had started talking to (and gotten the number of) a girl I had met (barely) once before. We later made plans for Saturday.

Friday I went out with a few friends. Talked to plenty of women, including Tuesday girl, and had good vibe and rapport, but no real sexual traction or interest. On the way home I called one girl who I had never closed, but who has wanted me for a while. Closed.

Saturday I took out the girl from Thursday to two birthday parties. One was for one of my friends. The other was for one of her friends. Closed her that night.

Sunday went out with a wing, who opened a mixed 2-set. We bounced them downtown, and her attraction and BT hit the roof. She said she would happily ditch the guy she came with for me, but she drove and she feels she can't abandon him. She was equally or even more attracted to my friend.

Monday took a break. Before class I did have a couple drinks with a girl who is in one of my classes. I had very solid rapport and I figured it was time to start turning it sexual/flirty. Not counting it as "going out" since I didn't do any bar or club cold approach. Monday night regular girl came over.

So I've been out for 9 out of the last 11 days. That's decent.