Requiring Exclusivity

Twice now a girl has demanded exclusivity, and when I told her I couldn't be exclusive, she backed down and decided she was okay with it, even though she "never does that."

One case, she had asked for exclusivity, and I had agreed. And I kept my agreement even though I had other opportunities I had to turn down. Then eventually, I decided I really needed to not be exclusive and I told her. She was really unhappy and wanted to know if there was anything that could make it "like it was before." I told her I'm just not ready for getting serious like that, and while I've made good on my promise, I want to be honest and I just can't.

The other one, the subject of exclusivity had never come up. Now, previously I've taken the attitude that if it doesn't come up then it's no problem. This has gotten me in trouble because I tend to give off boyfriend signals through some of the things I do. This boyfriend vibe has led girls to believe that I'm in a position I'm not, even when no words have been said about it. So in this case I brought up the subject myself, and said that I couldn't be exclusive. She said she needed me to be exclusive and basically implied that I was playing her. I mentioned that I didn't have to say anything but I know I give off vibes like that and I don't want to hurt her. I said I'm telling you because I care about you and I don't want to hurt you.

For a while she didn't want to see me in person (though she was fine with talking online or on the phone). She needed time to think. She said her friends told her she shouldn't speak to me ever again. Then after a while she decided she was okay seeing me in person. Then she decided she was okay sleeping with me after all, even though she had been very emphatic in saying she "doesn't do that."

So much for that.